Judy Rose
Custom Writing & Writing Repair Services
Santa Ana, CA
ph: 714-654-0963
rose
Writing Repair is a service that turns poorly written or ineffective text into text that’s ready to do its job. The easiest way to explain it is to show you.
BEFORE (as written; actual text taken from overseas website)
Talented people are our treasure
Producing the first-class brands and satisfying our customers are made only possible by people. If our employees are not capable to make such products or if they have no will to do so, not only such goal cannot be achieved at all, but also there can be no room for promise, growth and development. Therefore, management always need to remind itself that employees of XYZ with capable and enthusiasm are the asset of XYZ, and should always support development of employees' ability to inspire their enthusiasm.
AFTER (correction of errors and phrasing only)
Talented people are our greatest asset
Achievement of our primary goals—producing first-class products and satisfying our customers—is only made possible by our employees. If our people are not capable of making fine products, or if they haven't the will to do so, then not only will XYZ fall short of our goals, but there will be no hope of growth and development. Management must always remember that capable and enthusiastic employees are our greatest asset, and must always support further development of their abilities and inspire their enthusiasm.
BEST (effective text)
Talented people are our greatest asset
Our talented employees make it all possible. They are the reason we can achieve our primary goals: producing first-class products and satisfying our customers. Our people have the capability and the will to keep us on the right track and to ensure our continued growth and development. Management never loses sight of the vital contribution our employees make to our success. We work hard to inspire their enthusiasm and to support them in meeting the exciting new challenges they face every day.
Another example...
BEFORE (as written; actual text taken from overseas website)
Without using any chemical agent or tooth pest just water treated brush will eliminate all harmful bacteria inside mouth which cause bad odor, gingivitis, different type of gum desease, infections etc, ,
No need any kind of tooth paste, ,
Good for health, specially good for chemical sensitive person also good for enviorment, ,
Our product has been tested and certified by dentist but dentists do not want to see the brush on the market, , simple reason, less dental patients to treat, ,
We have a live salaiva test video under microscope to satisfy all of our skeptical customers,
AFTER (correction of errors and phrasing only)
Without using any chemical agent or toothpaste, just adding water to our treated brush will eliminate all harmful bacteria which cause odors, gingivitis, gum diseases, infections, etc. There’s no need for toothpaste.
Good for your health—especially for chemically sensitive people. Also good for the environment.
Our product has been tested and certified by dentists. But dentists don’t want to see this brush on the market because they’ll have fewer patients to treat.
We have a live saliva-test video showing microscopic proof that will satisfy all our skeptical customers.
BEST (effective text)
Throw your toothpaste away! Just add water to our Magic Brush toothbrush, and eliminate all the harmful bacteria which cause mouth odors, gingivitis, gum disease, and infections. People who are sensitive to chemicals will love this toothbrush. It’s good for your health—and the health of the environment, too.
Our product has been tested and certified by dentists. But dentists don’t want to see this product on the market because they'll have fewer patients to treat.
Are you skeptical? Let us send you our saliva-test video showing microscopic proof.
Many people can take text from the first level to the second. Very few can produce the third level—the one that's most effective in getting results for your business. But that is what companies should demand, and that is what Judy Rose Custom Writing & Writing Repair Services will create for you.
Santa Ana, CA
ph: 714-654-0963
rose